My Experiences with the Supernatural

I was born into a Roman Catholic household, baptized, and forced into Sunday school. I learned a lot of prayers in Spanish, I did my first holy communion, and I hated every single second of it. Going to Spanish speaking Catholic Church sucks ass. Big fat ass. There are baby’s crying, a whole lotta Latin mumbo jumbo, and whole lotta bloody images of Jesus. I remember standing up, sitting down, bending on one knee and just saying the same thing everybody else said. I was thinking, is this shit real? Why would God want us to worship him? If God really loved us, why would he want us to put money into a pot and spend an hour of every Sunday doing something we didn’t want to do? Why do I have to confess my ‘sins’ and then have to pray fifty Hail Mary’s?

I remember doing my first confession as a little kid and I really didn’t get it. I got in the little closet thing and I didn’t know what to do. So I told the guy, “uh… what am I supposed to do?” I don’t remember the rest, but I remember I had pray fifty Hail Mary’s anyway and that I should be a good little boy. Jesus Christ. So the point is, that I grew up really resenting the church and I was a die-hard atheist before I even knew what an atheist was. I remember telling my mother and grandmother that I didn’t believe in God when I was about 12. They were both cried, a lot. I really didn’t get it.

My father’s side of the family always went to church and my father always did the sign of the cross every time we would drive by a church. One time I remember his side of the family breaking eggs on a bowl or something when I was a little kid. I remember my mother’s side of the family telling ghost stories and stories of encounters with the devil. Looking back at these occurrences, I realized that Mexican people have a strong connection with the supernatural and tend to be more open to talking about it then your standard American. That said I grew up as a pretty scientific dude and my mantra was “If I don’t see it, then I won’t believe it”.

When I was at UCSB about 24ish, that’s when I started to have my first believable experiences with the supernatural. It started when I fell asleep in the living room couch at my mom’s house. All I remember was that I had a really painful metallic, buzz sensation in my brain. Like my head was being tasered for 10 seconds. That really scared the shit out of me because I never had it happen before. Then a couple weeks later it happened again and this time more intense through my body. I felt like I was getting electric-shocked. The next day I discovered that my brand new black-on-black Kawasaki Ninja 600R motorcycle was stolen. I don’t know if it was a coincidence or not but the whole thing just kept getting weirder. I remember at this time my music composition almost took a quantum leap, because I was writing at a very ambitious level a la Beethoven, but anyways I started having weird dreams and stuff. A year later when we moved a few blocks away, I started to feel weird entities, see orbs, and have really nasty nightmares. The weirdest shit of all was when I had a face-to-face experience with something not human. Sometime around 3 or 4 in the morning, I was trying to sleep and I felt like my body was being pulled up in the air and then thrown back down. I was in a weird sober foggy-drunk haze. Next thing you know, I was standing in the opposite side of my living room looking a little green man with small yellow eyes. I started slapping my arms and hands like a little schoolgirl. I was really scared and disoriented. I took a few steps back and kneeled down into a sign of submission. Then I remember shaking his hand and saying “I’m sorry I’m really scared. We can learn a lot from each other.”

I remember asking him what his name was and he said something metallic sounding like ‘gin’. I asked him when he would come back and he looked up and said “oh… when they let me”. I remember asking him to give me a sign and so that next time I wouldn’t get so scared. The next thing I recall was that I kneeled down and put my index fingers into a yellow box with a clear top. I felt something go into my fingers and the next thing I remember is that I was dropped back down where I was sleeping. My heart was still pounding and I couldn’t believe what had just happened.

A few months later I told this story to one of my friends and he said that there was a middle-Eastern phenomenon called ‘gin’ that was what genies came from. He said that I should be careful because they can be mischievous beings. I Wikipediad ‘gin’ and found a different spelling, ‘Djinn’ – he was right, it was based on Middle Eastern Mythology. What happened to me, I really do not know. All I know is that most Anglo-Americans that I tell this story to, do not want to accept that I had a supernatural experience and dismiss it as something else.

My point is that I used to be atheist and a dismisser of the supernatural, but after this weird shit happened to me, I started to do more and more research on the Internet. There are a lot of people out there that have weird experiences and it’s very disappointing when they are automatically dismissed as ‘crazy’ or ‘chemically imbalanced’ or ‘sleep paralysis’ or something. The problem with these occurrences is that the nature of these occurrences are supernatural and happen very unexpectedly. The other problem is that current scientist have a very primitive understanding of the supernatural and do not have the ability to test it. How can you test something that you can’t see? Obviously if something has the ability to appear out of thin air and can visit you when you whenever it chooses, don’t you think that it might it be able to access more frequency ranges then a human can detect? If a human can only see the spectrum of visible light from red to violet, and hear the spectrum of audible sound from 20 Hz to 20,000 Hz, how can a scientist dismiss the possibility of intelligence that exists outside our human perception?

What really pisses me off about science is that it has become a religion. Doctors and physicists have become modern priests and the quantum physics has become the new dogma. The nature of science is basically to test stuff and make an opinion from the results. If you can’t test it, then it cannot be scientifically viable. Well, why the fuck does something have to be scientifically viable for it to be true? Isn’t it possible you access knowledge or truth without having it to be scientifically validated by someone in a lab coat? Science is a method, and should be treated as a tool for gathering knowledge, not an end-all source of truth.

I’m not saying that science is not important and I’m not saying that we should get rid of it, but I am saying that people need to not treat it as a religion. Going to university and school is starting to sound a lot like going to church and Sunday school. I used to think that the theory of evolution was true and that humans evolved from monkeys, but after taking my anthropology class, my professor who wrote our text book even said (I’m paraphrasing), “there is a gap between the remains of the first proto-human where they found tools and modern man where they started civilization.” If modern human history started in Babylon 4 or 5 thousand years ago, and the oldest anatomical human found is 200,000 years old, what happened in between those 195,000 years? After 195 thousand years, ancient humans just said, “hey sabes que, you know what?, lets just start building stuff and start writing shit down”. WTF? NO! If ancient modern man is 200,000 years old, then wouldn’t civilization or hints of civilization start earlier then 5000 years ago? I mean from horse buggy, to automobile, to rocket ship was roughly 100 years. Its obvious that human evolution has been exponentially increasing, so I don’t think that evolution is a purely a product of natural selection- it perhaps something…supernatural?

Hey Earthling, Sabes Que?


The Conundrum of Evil

I remember taking my college philosophy course and most of it had to with different stances on evil. Mark Twain said that if God were all Good then why is there evil? I think that is a good question and I’ve always believed that there is no such thing as absolute morality but a relative morality depending on the context of the situation. For example, “though shall not kill” means you shouldn’t kill anyone, except in a situation of survival and if you need to defend yourself. I don’t think you should turn the other cheek if someone puts a gun to your face. I think there are times when passive resistance is really stupid. If someone is threatening your life then I think ‘thou shall not kill’ will actually ‘get you killed’.

Now let’s get to the nitty-gritty. I think evil is bad, but it isn’t necessarily ‘bad’, because if its our job to recognize it and try to overcome it. If we are children of God then by definition it’s our responsibility to grow up and try to make the best decisions we can. God would be doing us a disservice as a parent, if he let us get away with whatever and not have any consequences of our actions. If God is all knowing and powerful and ‘la la la’ then why does he keep the Devil around? Couldn’t God just delete him from existence? But no, the story goes like the Devil was a fallen angel and he got really jealous and wanted to do things his own way. Then the devil said he would try to corrupt as many people as he could. Well then maybe God said, ‘ok devil, good, maybe you can help show them the light’. After all if the devil was God’s favorite angel in the first place, maybe he is doing God’s most important task of all, which is helping us make the distinction from right and wrong and helping us learn how to become good human beings.

Whether you believe in god or the devil or not, it really does not matter. The point is that you need to believe in yourself, and learn. Suffering is a part of life and shit happens, but it is how we stand up for our right to live decent lives that should be more important than blaming god, the devil, or others for our fortunes or misfortunes. We should always think of how our own thoughts and actions affect our own lives and the lives of others.

Good Luck.


The Thuglife Manifesto

I don’t give a shit about Art. I really don’t give a shit. I’m all about the money. Art is a product I can sell. How can my art make me money?

I am an anti-capitalist, anti-formalist, anti-intellectual, anti-Christ, anti-anti-Christ, and anti-Bullshit motherfucker. I was born in a society where, if you don’t make money, you don’t eat.

I am a thunderbolt of divine creativity. I am god manifested in three dimensions. But who gives a shit, unless I can make money and pay off my absurd amount of student loan debt. I am a highly educated and motivated individual, yet I find myself financially destitute.

What is my artistic process?  How do I conceptualize my work? Who gives a flying fuck! Don’t bullshit me. Music just comes into my head and I write it out, and I work on it until I’m sick of looking at it. In the process of idea-to-publish-ready masterpieces, I am constantly thinking of how it’s going to get performed, recorded and sold to the mass public for some money in my pocket.  I keep it real.

What I really want to do as an artist is find more ways of incorporating that thing called ‘Art’ into commercially viable avenues. How can we as ‘Artists’ empower ourselves and work with other Artists to make money and survive in this fucked-up-capitalistic-American society? That’s what’s really missing from our education as artists. We might get a seminar in how to balance a checkbook, but nobody teaches us how to make money. Nobody teaches how to use our gifts as artists, to be able to survive outside of the unemployment line! We spend so much time learning our craft and having pseudo-intellectual discussions with ourselves that we forget the most important things about being Artists-that is how to make a living being Artists and stay Artists.

Thug Life bitch.